You may have heard the term, high maintenance. That’s really referring to a person who doesn’t react well when things go wrong. There’s nothing wrong with high maintenance except that it wastes a lot of time and energy. And it creates a huge dependency on others, substances and outside help.
Would you like some alternatives:
1. Expectations… reframe trouble… The worst thing you can do about trouble is to make trouble out of it. If you beat yourself up about having trouble with someone, you’ve got two problems to deal with. Instead, expect trouble. All relationships, jobs, business, lives, grow at the border of support and challenge. Why would you be so immune from that challenge? Instead, welcome it – expect it. You don’t have to enjoy it, but expect it and stop trying fruitlessly to avoid it.
2. It takes two to tango. …. don’t bite back. One person cannot argue with nobody. Let it go. Trying to fix, change, modify, make a stand or even placate someone, is likely to inflame them. Instead, look for where they are right and wrong. Look for both sides of their argument.
3. Actions speak louder than words… sometimes we can get ourselves in a spin by talking way too much. Talk is so cheap. Action is not cheap. One lady I knew was having an affair and we all knew it but at the same time, she was condemning her ex husband for cheating on her. Rather than beat yourself up or others, about right and wrong, turn it into action. Don’t get emotional, just do something different.
4. Think big … big picture reality…. In every situation where something has gone wrong for you there is a tendency to get drawn down into the pain or discomfort of it. Just like when you stub your toe, you could be on a luxury plane, in first class flying to London to see the Queen, but the pain sucks you down into ouch. If you don’t want it to hurt so much, look for the big picture. Remember where you are, what opportunities will come your way, what possibilities are there waiting, like, you could win the lotto tomorrow. Or, think about those who are way, way, way worse off than you.
5. Want it .. be Buddhist… if you just lost $1mil on the stock exchange, want to lose t. Want to wage it on some shares that are suddenly worthless. When asked why, simply smile and say “because life’s too short not to give it a try.
5. Commit to a higher set of principles… don’t become a part of the problem.