It is a normal life that is run by ego. It not sad because it is not wrong or bad. It can be sad, because there is just way too much conflict when we come to the world brandishing the sword made from ego. I mean to say at every marriage ceremony, every job interview, every new project you take on at work, you put your heart into it with incredibly human and inspired intent. But it can so easily turn to mud. You can begin to lie to yourself and others. You can begin to cause people to lie to you and themselves. Things can start in the most glamorous of human integrity and finish in the toilet.
Nobody thinks at their marriage ceremony “well this is going to end in the toilet? or at a new project venture “Oh, I’m looking forward to the stress and ugly interpersonal fights that will end up in the toilet.” No way, we start inspired in these things and then sink into “patterns.”
Those patterns are not habits. Those patterns are experience based expectations of what can and can’t happen. Your partner farts, if that fits with your expectations of him, you’ll smile and say “wow, I’m so lucky.” Your partner burps all the time, really loud belching, without hand over mouth, in restaurants and in front of customers at fancy dinners and if that fits with your expectation of her, you’ll smile and say “wow, I’m so lucky to have a belching soprano partner.” But these examples illustrate that those are not typical patterns. They are part of the experience that adds up to make us define what we want in a partner. And that’s what blocks love. The same stuff happens at work. And that’s what blocks inspiration. There’s only one word for it all…. EGO.
What is immensely gratifying is that we can change our ego. We can easily change our ego. We don’t want to change our ego. Our ego is what we think is who we are. If we don’t have a spiritual definition of who we are then we are only our ego. If we are only our ego, and someone asks us to be a little more accepting or tolerant or compassionate or inspired, we can’t because that change involves shifting the very foundations upon which we do everything from choosing our coffee flavour in the morning right through to the way we clean our teeth at night. Ego runs the ship.
What is ego?
The ego holds four critical propositions and while you believe them you have no choice but to be run by ego.
1. Your masculine or feminine is separate to its opposite
2. You can have more pleasure than pain.
3. You can be more right than wrong
4. You are either better or worse than somebody else.
If you want to change your situation, success, relationship, happiness, health, wealth, friendship, communication… you must change your EGO. Which, is easier said than done unless you know how. Here’s how…
1. Masculine and Feminine
Sure blokes have penis and women have vagina. That’s Male and Female. We’re not talking about Male and Female. We’re talking about Masculine and Feminine. Masculine takes things and turns them into dust, it’s the fire, war, stock market crash, confrontation, illness, destructive storm, earthquake, avalanche, flood, business takeover, dismissal and getting fired, divorced, bankrupt or bullied. Feminine is the new business development, the new family, marriage, sunny day, start up, profit, success, baby, new book, vision, and philanthropic rescue of those in need. Feminine is the water.
Blokes have feminine and masculine in them. Women have masculine and feminine in them. Thinking otherwise, taps into the ego and sets up conflict both internal and external.
2. Pleasure and Pain
There has not been one single topic that has caused people more arguments with me than any other single topic in 35 years of travelling the world teaching Inspiration, this is it. I’ve spoken about the benefits of deforestation, the self responsibility of domestic violence, the corruption of corporate HR but this topic alone wins hands down as the most argument causing topic. Why? Because this is the topic the EGO is most attached to. The quest for pleasure over pain. We get married in the hope for it. We get divorced for the hope of it. We choose jobs to cause it. We go on holidays to create it. We even have affairs and take drugs and ruin our lives and put on weight in the pursuit of it. But, it’s a myth. In every pain there’s a pleasure and in every pleasure there’s a pain.
3. Right and Wrong
We’re trained for it. We’re educated to achieve it. We dress to present it. We hate it when it’s not true. We want to be right. We do not want to be wrong. BUT, we are wrong. We are often wrong. If we are not wrong we are always right and if we are always right we are always on stage, performing Beethoven’s 200th symphony. We can’t be always on stage, it would be the worst groundhog day imaginable. Never off stage. Never able to try new things. Never able to play, to be creative, to explore, invent, innovate, try. We’d be a person in bandages, with little peep holes to see the world but making sure we wore sunglasses so no one could see us. We’d be dead inside. The key is to see that when NAASA send people to the moon, those people don’t practice new drills half way between earth and moon, travelling at 200,000km / hr. No, they use simulators so the can stuff up and not die. You need simulators. You need meetings where you can try something new and be celebrated for the effort, the experiment. You need to know when to play safe, like in front of clients, and in your home with your spouse or in the Olympic final. But you gotta give yourself a space for a simulator. Last week I renovated my bed room. I moved all the furniture, changed the wall art, shifted the handcuffs (only joking) but I did move everything. I slept one night and then moved the whole thing back the way it was. Did I beat myself up for being wrong or did I celebrate the effort of exploring and experimenting. The opposite to happiness is boredom and most people accidentally bore themselves to death because they don’t have simulators, places to try new things, experiment. If you are always trying to be right, you’ll
4. You are neither better or worse than anybody else.
Superiority makes you feel that you have gifts, talents, wealth, health, spirituality or love greater than someone else. Superiority on the outside (comparison or competitive) makes you insecure on the inside.
Inferiority makes you feel that you have a lack of something that somebody else has. All inferiority comes from superiority.
All superiority makes you feel secure. But it automatically triggers a foundation of inferiority. To be superior one must think “I am better than them.” Imagine a set of vegetable scales with sweet organic carrots on one side of the scale and no measuring weights on the other side to counterbalance it.
Superiority at work is balanced by inferiority at home. IF you feel inferior at home it is called infatuation or guru worship and it is a form of subservience that will breed disrespect for yourself – so you will sabotage your relationship.
Inferiority at work is balanced by superiority at home. If you feel superior at home it’s called spousal abuse and whether it’s emotional, mental, physical, financial, social or spiritual, it will sabotage your relationship.